It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
