You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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