I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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