Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
