My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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