I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize