Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
