You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
