Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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