Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
soo... how was my night?
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