Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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