I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
