it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize