Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
