Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
