And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
