Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
