Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
