Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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