Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
