her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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