I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
