I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
