you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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