he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
