he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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