I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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