Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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