whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
