Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize