I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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