Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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