Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize