it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
