i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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