Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
