some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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