Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
