i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
