There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
