Me. At least after what I've been through.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
