If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
