Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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