i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
