I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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