Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just google imaged poop.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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