brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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