Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
