i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
