I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize