So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
