Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
