Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
