Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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