last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
