I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize