they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
