We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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