Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Bring me that man meat
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
