so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
