So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
