dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
