My friends, they love my intelligence
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
