I can tuck mytits in my pants
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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